Love is not Enough??

Love is not enough…

That hit me right in the trauma.

This was a headline on a Facebook post from a popular spiritual teacher. It was part of a slap-down on other teachers who teach primarily "Love & Light" work…Calling them out as "bypassers" and as harming people.

Let's unpack this, shall we?

The article states we also need honesty, clarity, responsibility, etc… Yes–all of that is true, but aren’t those things a part of love? Not an addition to it?

I think as people we get sold on this idea of love…That love is fluffy and exciting and soft, but we are never shown the full spectrum. We are sold love – Lowercase but Captial L Love is quiet, behind the scenes… Working hard and building bridges. We see glimpses of it…Out of the corner of our eyes while we are distracted by the fear and rage show, when we witness an animal rescuer going out in a blizzard to feed and house a feral cat colony. When we glimpse a quiet kindness in the grocery store.

You see, Capital L Love isn’t about grandstanding gestures, photo ops, or praise.

Capital L Love lives in the foundation of our lives, building, restoring, and guiding. And many of us have been separated from that foundation in our formative years. The Capital L Love bricked over by Disney love, conditional love, ego love…So it's not that love isn't enough…It's that we have forgotten what it truly is. We have been manipulated and programmed and abused and traumatized out of our connection to it. But it is always there, pulsing under the surface of our lives, waiting for the excavation team to uncover it and give it oxygen to breathe. Because without Love what is even the point?

Love is not enough…Is saying, we have been so collectively traumatized by life that we don't trust it anymore. We don't believe…Like the tooth fairy or Santa Claus, we have been let down so many times by things, and people claiming love as their motivation we stopped believing. We stopped caring. We stopped trusting. We stopped trying. I mean, what's the point?

I get it. I feel it. Capital L Love is not our ticket up and out.

It requires us to drop in, fully in… Into our body, into our life…Into the earth. But… Wait…That's where all of my hurt, trauma, and wounding is?! Why do I want to do that? I don't want to feel that! Right…So love is not enough. I get it.

Capital L Love requires us to be present to our suffering and the suffering of the world.

Capital L Love requires us to be able to hold a big enough container to be able to see and feel the wounds of those we "hate" and have empathy while we communicate the need for change.

Capital L Love sets the tone for our actions and words and creates the possibility of change, growth, and healing.

Someone has to hold the template, the energy of capital L Love so the collective can remember their own foundation. Someone has to lead the way in their own frailty and vulnerability because none of us will ever get it 100% right all the time. Perfection is not the point, and our imperfection doesn't negate the process.

Yes, to repeat…none of us is perfect in our expression of Capital L Love. But this does not negate its worth or existence or the deeply intense value of the path.

It's deep work. It's valuable work. It's foundational work and without it, everything else we do will not impact the world the way we want it to.

Our anger without capital L Love will not change minds.

Our activism without capital L Love will not change policy or stop wars.

Our teachings without capital L Love can gaslight our students and potentially re-traumatize them.

So let's get clear. This is not Love’s failing. It is our trauma and wounding screaming to be heard and held.

Capital L Love requires us to hold it all. Does this mean I have to love my abuser or the atrocities happening in the world??!

No. It does not. But, in order for anything to change and heal capital L Love has to be leading the way. It has to be the foundation of our words, our work, and of our life. Otherwise, it will all crumble… Again.

It's time to start excavating… Removing the bricks of programming and lies and trauma and fear that have entombed our foundation of Capital L Love. We must restore it, reset it, renew it, and nourish it.

Love is not enough?

    Love is who we are…And that is more than enough.